


Vacation Road Trip of the 7 Hells

by Phoward



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Game of Thrones (TV), Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alot of OC's, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anna and Elsa from Frozen and OUAT are Emma Swan's adopted sisters, Captain Swan's daughter is married to Robb Stark, Catelyn is the witchy mother-in-law, Characters from DAI, Characters from GoT, Characters from OUAT, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm too dorky and come up with crazy ideas, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ramsay Bolton and Sansa Stark are married with lots of children, Road Trip Vacation from hell, This is imspired from all of those vacation movies, Vacation Road Trip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:57:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4660482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoward/pseuds/Phoward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>School would be out in a few weeks and that meant that summer would be arriving as well.  Also she knew that her husband Robb was planning some sort of vacation that much he had told her, but she had no idea where and when.<br/>The Starks sat in the living room, gathered for a family meeting Robb was throwing to announce vacation plans. “Everyone, we’re taking a long vacation all over the country to visit family and friends we’ve not seen in years. Exciting, right?” Robb announced, making everyone’s face curl up in disgust.<br/>Oh this vacation road trip would surely be a disaster.</p><p>This is a Modern AU where Robb Stark is married to Leia Jones (My OC who is the daughter of Killian 'Captain Hook' Jones and Emma Swan) and in it he takes his family on a crazy road trip vaca to visit family and friends that he and his family have kind of lost touch with. Inspired by the National Lampoon Vacation movies</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vacation Road Trip of the 7 Hells

**Author's Note:**

> I just thought this thing up after watching the Lampoon Vacation movies and seeing the commercial for the new vacation movie. I made a picture thingy for this. I'll try to make one for every chapter.

Prologue: Dinner Party & Vacation Destination Anouncement

* * *

 

School would be out in a few weeks and that meant that summer would be arriving as well. For stay at home mother of 4 Leia Jones-Stark this meant her peace and quiet would be shattered and she would actually have to do housework. Blah, she hated housework. Also she knew that her husband Robb was planning some sort of vacation that much he had told her, but she had no idea where and when. Talk about housework Leia was currently speed cleaning her 2 story 3 bedroom suburban house so that it would be presentable for the dinner get together going on tonight between her family and a friend’s family. Truthfully she hated the new woman from her book club bet her husband Robb, dear sweet and dumb but handsome Robb, had suggested that she “Invite the woman and her family over for dinner since she’s new in town. It’d be nice of us to do.”

Oh how Leia hated get togethers and people in general. Her crazy twin brother Liam was the one that loved meeting new people, but yet again he hardly saw people since he lived on a boat in the coastal waterways of Eastern Florida. Blah, the things she did for her husband.

Now her husband was normal compared to his crazy North Western PA family he was from. Seriously, they avoided his family cause they were just weird. Now her family was normal compared to his and that was saying something since her older half-brother’s grandfather was a shady lawyer and businessman (and mob king pin if she picked up the clues correctly) that hated her father with a passion cause he had mended her mother’s broken heart after her first love had died after re-entering her life after a few stints on the run. Her older half-brother was an author obsessed with anything mythical and medieval. That was just the start of things. Her in-laws, now where to start with the craziness there, in a nut shell all of her sibling-in-laws got with douche-bags and her mother-in-law was the biggest bitch she ever met. The woman hated her for making her son marry beneath him…oh yea that’s right her husband Robb Stark was the son of Western PA steel tycoon Ned Stark and his wife Catelyn Tully-Stark the owners of Stark Steel while she Leia Jones-Stark was just the daughter of Killian Jones and Emma Swan Arandelle-Gold-Jones, who were nothing more than a one handed ex navy seal team captain and a small town Maine girl who made some mistakes when young and then got with the alcoholic ex-seal who moved to her town. Yea her in-laws were rich but messed up.

Anyways as Leia cleaned she heard the front door open and shut accompanied with the small voice of her youngest saying, “Mommy I need 2 dozen cupcakes for a party tomorrow, teacher says so.” While her middle child was saying, “My teacher wants you and daddy to have a conference with her; she gave me a note to give to you.”

“What?” Leia asked in a high pitched voice as she stopped her cleaning and turned around to look at her children RJ (short for Robb Junior) and Elizabeth, who were 13 and 9. RJ looked like his father with wild auburn curls and river-blue eyes (Tully blue) while Elizabeth looked like Leia with shiny jet dark hair and ocean-blue eyes (Jones blue).

* * *

 A couple hours later Leia was trying to finish up dinner for the social gathering whenever heard the kitchen door that connected to the garage slam open and close accompanied by the bickering sounds of her oldest children, the twins Neddie and Emmie. They were both 15 and were named after both of their grandparents. Their real names were Eddard Killian Stark and Emma Catelyn Stark, but for short they were always called Neddie and Emmie. Both children looked like carbon copies of her husband . They were all her in spirit though…okay so they were bitchy… She sighed to herself as she heard her son say, “How’d you expect of make the cheery-dance squad thingy again and keep your spot for sophomore year if you keep hitting bitches in the head with the pom-poms and batons and shit?”

“That wasn’t my fault, that short fat pig called me tall and ugly so I accidently let my baton fly into her fake veneer teeth.” Leia heard her daughter say as she sat down at the kitchen island “Besides the Dance Coach Cersei Baratheon told me and I quote ‘Next time show that fat whore what lions are made of, next time claw her eyes out and tear her apart.’ So she’s fine with my attitude.”

“I can see that feisty old hag saying that.” Leia chuckled. Well all in truth Cersei Lannister-Baratheon was a few years older than her half brother which only made her 52 but still Leia considered her an old hag (well speaking about old hags Leia’s mother-in-law was also 52 and her father-in-law was like nearing 60 while her parents were 66 and 68 with her mom being the younger one) and her son was a little shit-head prick demon from hell if she were to believe her husband since the Joffery boy had once dated his little sister Sansa. Leia shook her head as she thought of Sansa, her sister-in-law that she hadn’t seen in years since neither her nor her husband liked the man that she married. Truth be told the man creeped out Leia and annoyed Robb. Last time they saw her Sansa was maybe on kid number 4 or 5, hard to remember really.

“She’s a nice old wino, just needs to shut up about her kid Joff that’s locked up in the Fed-Pen for shooting a hooker at 18 is all.” Emmie said as she started picking at her black nail polish.

“Well, at least you don’t have decrepit older than father time Walder Frey as your football coach. Man never shuts up about how dad broke off his engagement with the prettiest daughter of his Roslin Frey only to get with mom. Old Gods and New shoot me if I have to listen to him during try-outs and conditioning end of year camp talk bout how dad was Robb Stark the Young Wolf at Kings Landing prep in Westros and King of the North in the college circuit over in Happy Valley only to fall and give up a chance at the pros whenever he dumped fiancé Ros all to run after mom after a few fun fucking nights that and I quote the old goat ‘ended up in the result of you and your twin.’”

“Don’t let daddy hear you say that, you know he hates it when people talk bout us and mom that way.” Emmie warned her brother as they sat at the kitchen island.

“It’s been nearly 16 years, fucking Frey needs to get over his shit fit, nobody got time for that.” Leia grumbled and shook her head. Leia couldn’t lie and say it didn’t hurt that her son had to listen to trash talk bout his father cause it did. She wasn’t stupid, she knew what she did nearly 16 years ago to ruin her husband’s life, she had said “Fine, okay, okay, I’ll marry you so it’ll have a family.” Whenever her husband Robb had told her. “I called it off with Ros, I knocked you up and I’m going to take responsibility for it. I’m going to provide for you and the baby, marry you so it’s not a bastard. You’ll marry me, for the baby, right?” If she had walked away and told him to marry Roslin Frey Robb Stark could’ve been a pro-star quarterback and the next in line to be CEO of Stark Steel, a position that his parents handed over to his brother Bran after learning that Robb had dropped out of college and got hitched at a courthouse and got a job doing manual labor (to a rich person manual labor was evil) all to afford an apartment and provide for his new family.

* * *

 “What’s wrong, Sweetling, you look upset?” Robb Stark asked his wife as he walked into the kitchen from the garage in his socks since he always took his dirty work boots off in the garage right by the door before coming in.

“Nothing, just old Walder Frey’s giving Neddie shit bout us during end of year football stuff.”

“What’d he say to him? You look upset.”

“Nothing but the truth, how you could’ve been a star and with pretty Roslin if not for me and-“

“Okay, don’t even finish saying what you’re about to say cause I love you and I never wanted Roslin or to be a star. I chose you not her cause I felt something for you.” Robb lovingly told his wife. “Plus you didn’t ruin my life, I think I’ve done pretty damn good considering I have a house, a beautiful wife, 4 amazing children, and a good job at Stannis Baratheon’s company. I make good money being a foreman of the road construction and lighting crew and I got nearly 3 weeks off for vacation this year. So you’re being upset over nothing.”

“Okay.” Leia reluctantly said with a faked and force small smile. “Oh, clean up real quick before that bookclub lady and her family comes over for dinner.”

“That’s tonight? Shit, I forgot all about it.”

“Yes, it’s tonight, now go get a quick shower before this Blackwall woman shows up.”

Robb nodded and said, “Okay, but after dinner I’m going to be holding a family meeting to announce the vacation plans I made for us.”

“Fine, just hurry before Blackwall and her family come.” Leia said, shooing her husband off to go get ready for their dinner plans.

* * *

 Dinner that night with the Blackwall woman and her family was interesting to say the least. Gertrude Blackwall was lean and tall with light orange hair that was long and in one of those half shaved hairstyles with a braid running along the shaved part. Her husband Tomas Rainer Blackwall was a very tall and very big man that had long black hair and a long beard. Their oldest child was a boy who was nearly 17. He had his father’s build and his dark hair, but he had his mother’s teal eyes. The boy whose name was Gerald had his black hair tied back in a messy bun; he also sported a thick but short beard. Their next child was a 13 year old girl named Tamria who had her mother’s light orange hair and lean frame with her father’s brown eyes. The girl wore her hair in a short wedge-like bobbed cut. Their youngest was another girl at age 9 with dark auburn hair that almost looked brown and teal eyes with brown outlining. This girl was named Evelyan and she wore her hair shoulder length and parted to the side.

Both the Stark family and the Blackwall family seemed to get along fine with conversations at dinner. Okay that was a stretch to say…

“Leia, this food is exquisite, only if I could get my wife to cook something like this.” Tomas had told Leia in a thunderous laughter.

“I’m not much of a cook.” Gertrude told the Starks. “Tomas does most of the cooking.”

Leia smiled smugly before retorted with, “Well, if I let Robb do the cooking we’d starve. He grew up with cooks and maids.”

“Cooks and maids?” Mr. and Mrs. Blackwall asked.

“Yea, my parents were well-off. Still are.” Robb simply said as he cut his steak.

“So, Gerald-“ Emmie began to say to Gerald before being interrupted.

“Geri please.” Gerald had told Emmie before she could finish her sentence to him.

“Do you play sports?” Emmie asked before eating a piece of her steak dinner.

“I fence.” Was the simple answer Geri gave.

“Oh cool, sword fighting.” Emmie giggled excitedly.

“Not really fighting, but yea.”

“I do dance on the spirit squad.”

“Really now? I’ll have to go to sports I don’t care about to see that.”

Emmie just smiled shyly while saying, “Guess so.”

“Oh shut up nobody cares about fencing or that you think his fencing is cool. Dude, just ask her out already cause those goo-goo eyes you’re making at my sister’s getting me sick.” Neddie bluntly told Geri with a scarcastic scoff and a roll of his eyes.

“What? Who’s making eyes at my baby?!” Robb asked in a roar as he snapped his head in the direction of his twins as he had a tight grip on his knife and fork.

“Robb, don’t make a scene.” Leia hissed through gritted teeth.

All the other children just ate in silence, not caring to make new friends.

“My son and your daughter would make a fine couple, a pair of gingers.” Tomas Blackwall chuckled loudly.

“Don’t say ginger, it’s not nice, Blackwall.” Gertrude sternly told her husband.

“No.” Robb said with deadly eyes and a clenched jaw. He was determined to keep his daughter single and under his roof until she was at least 30. He didn’t want her to marry a jackass at 18 like his sister Sansa did. Boy how he loathed his brother-in-law. That creepy blue eyed bastard with the sickening smile that was only 5’8”.

After that dinner was cut short and the Blackwalls left, but not before agreeing to have the Starks over in about a month’s time since vacations were coming up and the Blackwalls were planning on going back to Ostwick, Virginia to visit Mrs. Blackwall’s rich family the Trevelyans.

* * *

 The Starks sat in the living room, gathered for a family meeting Robb was throwing to announce vacation plans. Leia was on the couch with her twins Neddie and Emmie on either side of her. Her middle child RJ was on a chair playing with a PS Vita while her youngest Elizabeth sat on her lap. Robb was standing in front of them with a smile on his face. “Everyone, we’re taking a long vacation all over the country to visit family and friends we’ve not seen in years. Exciting, right?” Robb announced, making everyone’s face curl up in disgust.

“Why?” Was what the twins asked in unison.

“We don’t see anybody cause they all suck.” Groaned RJ as he played away on his game.

“Robb, don’t you think that’s a little too much for a family vacation?” Leia asked with wide eyes.

“I don’t want to go.” Elizabeth whined and pouted.

“Well, we’re all going and it’s going to be fun.” Robb told his family, who just wasn’t as happy as he was about the whirlwind vacation to visit family and close friends all over the entire country.

Oh this vacation road trip would surely be a disaster.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope ya'll like this. I'll update as soon as I can. Yep, Sansa is married to Ramsay...that'll be the first kin on the roadtrip visiting list lol.


End file.
